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Piece oF me..

Piece oF me..

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

♥SAD♥

Yesterday i went to kenduri. I didn't likee to go there bt i hv to bcause of something that i cannot avoid. Kita tidak boleh nilai org tu ndr luaran, latar belakang ataupun keadaan sekelilingnya. Benda yang sebaliknya mungkin jadi jg, possiblity tuu mmg bnyk.

For example, there's a family who has a background very severe. Kaki gaduh, alcoholic, drugs, womenizer, gambling and everything [package]. Most of the family members mcmtuu moreover parents dorg yang terlalu manjakan anak2 sampai tidak ambil kisah dengan perlakuan buruk anak2. Dr kecil smpai laa anak2 dorg tu kahwin n also ada anak masing2..

Days by days passing by, tp perangai tu masi trbawa2. Plus makin menjadi2 bila ada anak and isteri. Bila brjudi, mesti mabuk. Bila habis duit, balik umah mengamuk. Minta duit dgn wife, bila x dibagi sepak terajang si isteri dapat. Anak2 membesar dengan persekitaran yang kasar dan buruk. Siapa yang senang dengan keadaan macam tu? Atau paling tepat siapa yang tahan bila kna buat macam binatang? Sedangkan bintang lg ada hati prasaan.

Kahwin cerai macam game, Ppuan silih berganti mcam baju. Hutang keliling pinggang, beban tu dibagi dengan si isteri yang langsung x tahu pn apa hasilnya duit2 tu semua. Apakan daya, si isteri cuma mampu tawakal.

Bila anak2 suda meningkat dewasa, kenangan pahit yang dulu tu pasti terbawa2 sampai bila2. Mcm fobia laa jg. And sometimes ada anak2 yang tidak akan mengaku bapa dorg, bercakap ataupun jalankan tanggungjawab sbg anak. Pengalaman pahit tu makin terbawa2 and buat hidup tertekan. Lumrah alam.. Dendam !

Hsil drpd beberapa perkahwinan, lahir anak2 yang tidak berdosa. Bila besar, masing2 tidak tahu adik-bradikny. Bila parents bercerai, anak2 jadi mangsa.kurang kasih syg. Hidup, makan pakai tidak menentu. Mama hilang entah ke mana. Bertahun2 tidak berhubung. Tinggal dengan bapa, tp bapa pn tidak brtanggungjwb. Tidak bekerja, x bg nafkah anak2.

Syukur seja anak yang sulung tahu berfikir. Alhamdulillah diadapat bersekolah. Di umur yang masi berada di sekolah rendah dia trpaksa buat kerja2 yang sepatutny seorang MAMA buat. KENAPA MAMAny TIDAK IKHTIAR AMVBIL ANAK2 DIA? X PERASAAN KA DENGAN ANAKNY TU? Anak yang rindu dengan kasih syg mama dibiarr bgtu seja. Cuci pakaian, masak, menyapu si anak trpaksa buat. Kadangkala makan cuma berlaukan nasi dan kicap. Dia yang menjaga adik2. BAPA DIA BUAT APA? MAKAN ? TIDUR?????????? MANA PERGI TANGGUNGJWB BAPA ???????

Saya terharu bila tgk budak tuu, dia beradap sopan. Even bila kenduri pn dia biarkan orang lain makan terlebih dlu. Sanggup makn kemudian. Hormat dgn orang lain. Huluran tangan untuk bersalam. Hati saya tersentuh dgn keadaan dia. Dari situ saya tau tidak semua yang buruk itu jahat. Kadang2 ada yang baik dalam buruk2 tu.

Saya cuma dapat doakan Allah S.W.T buka pintu mama dan bapa nya supaya bertanggung jawab dan jgn biarkan anak2 dia rasa tu semua. Dalam liungkungan umur mcmtu dia sepatutnya bermain dgn budak2 lain..

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What was the worst concert you went to?

I never go to any concert

Ask me anything

Do you believe in life after death?

no i don't.

Ask me anything

What's your favorite genre of music?

RnB

Ask me anything

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Say yes salah, say no pun salah. [ complicated ]

Haiz~ naa.. 1st of all, i'm wondering dalam dunia neh masi ada lg ka orang yg btl2 honest to each other? No lies and all sorts of things.. Ada? Maybe ada jg laa. 1/10.. ingat senang maw jumpa? Lucky laa...

Netaw laa np skg neh bunch of probs hit me in a tyme. Malang or wat? Maw nangis pn sampai x trkuar airmata. X tertanggung already. Maw share dgn sepa pn i don't know. I think pendam sendiri kali ble selesai la kunu, taw2 budu neh. makin la perit rasa dia! Ongoss pnya utak kn..

And now.. Paling bkin binggung ak trasa ma something. aouchh! Am i stupid or wat? Wanna ask bt dunnoe how. Mayb it'is true pa ygg my brother said. I'm such a stupid girl that always being used by other people for their own goods. Atlast i got nothing. I dunnoe la.Fussy btl skg neh. Btl ka ak just kna c budu? Damn'it jg.. My brother said ak trlampau baik dgn org sampai urg ambil ksempatan.

Tadi, i went to tanjung aru p jog. sambil to p calm my mind. While i was walking at the beach tgk laut n nampak few boat d laut tuu reminds me of something. I miss that moment bt i know i couldn't get it back. IMPOSSIBLE. Moment tu la paling best, happy n calm. Bt noweverything turns upside down~

I miss the way he smile to me, talk to me n tease me. Wat I miss the most is his words " Tu org laut yg limpas2 tuu, durg maw dtg cneh ambil ko tu maw kahwin sma ko. ha ha" urmmmm...Miss it~~~~~

Now, I'm gonna start a new life. Go on and improve it. One day i'll let everybody know it!
Includes orang2 yang pernah sakitkan my family and I. I WILL! Ak just kena kuatkan lagi hati and sabar. I'm sure there's still a few people by my side.:)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

♥ LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT OUR SELF ♥

Quite hard kn this topic. Tp it is reality. Hidup bukan cuma tentang diri kita sndiri tp jga orang yang ada di sekeliling and also people who depanding on us.
Klu selfish sama jg dengan "katak dibawah tempurung" yang tidak ambil kisah pasal apa yang jadi di luar. Itu laa hidup, semuanya kena balance. Social, career, family and everything.

Before do something kna fikir sebab, akibat and orang lain. Means prasaan orang lain laa kn. Memang susah, cz banyak bnda kena di ambil kira. Sometimes diri sendiri juga binggung bila terpaksa buat sesuatu tapi ada halangan. Mayb ada orang yg tidak suka or akibatnya ka. Naa.. disitu la fikiran brcelaru, tersepit dengan keadaan. Buat salah, tidak buat pn salah jg. So kena fkir panjang laa. Tu pn klu jumpa jalan penyelesaian.

Sebut pasal "jalan penyelesaian" teringat dengan kawan. Dia cakap something yang motivate me. Of course laa ada kaitan dengan problems kn. We went to Jesselton Point p lepak minum. Ceta kosong ja. Dunnoe mcmna ble terkuar psl problem. Then a friend of mine said dalam dunia neh masalah macamana payah pn memang ada solution. Cuma kita jumpa ataw tidak seja laa. Mayb org yang ckp tidak jln penyelesaian tuu x dapat berfikir sda thats y la durg ckp cam tuu. It makes me think.. N realize.. Klu berdepan dengan masalah yang penting kena sabar, thats all. Sabar is the key of the solutions. Kn? hehe...

And the other thing is I am sure bout something. Something that makes me stucked in dilemma in these few months. Think about the people who depands on us 1st rather than think bout our self. Yaa.. Now i am more confidence with my decision. Of course la setiap benda tu ada baik buruknya kn. Bt my sayang always say "JUST THINK POSITIVE" :)
Wheww.. I gotta start a new life soon, new target and new mission. muahahah!

Wish me luck guys !
XOXO

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

♥ SECRET♥

Sometimes i feel i should kept it all alone and no body gonna know bout it.
But the longer I kept, it hurt me much more. It kills me slowly inside.
Idon't want anybody to know bout it but at the same time i'm suffering bcause of the burden that i bear all by my self.

I did think to share it with somebdy bt it's hard to put your trust on someone.It's reality that not everyone can be trusted. Althgh already know him/her for a long time. Time cannot show people's intention. I know, because i've been through this before. Or perhaps, some people be nice to us to get something. And later if they didn't get it, the'll set u up. This is life. People may change in a blink of an eye.

Things that happen to me before opened my eyes and it gives me lessons. It makes me more cautions on every single things that i do. Peoople said that sharing is caring but to me sharing is bullshit![to those who cannot keep secret] And they use it for their own goods. Bt I'm convince that god is fair. Every single things that we do will got their own rewards. Didn't care it is good or otherwise.

It is hard too keep a secret, feel like wanna tell somebody seja. Bt cannot. Pressure oo~ Think bout this makes me remember bout a movie that i watched before. The boy cannot sit still coz his mouth felt wanna tell everybody bout the secret. Atlast he really cannot standit, he dig a hole and then he shout bout the secret in the hole. After he finished, he fill the hole. In a second a tree grow from the hole while shouting all sorts of things the boys said. The tree repeated it times and times until the vilaggers assemble and know about the secret.

And u know what, MULUT MURAI is a backstabber! Bullshit ! :)
I am so allergic to those kinda people. Lol

The main point is :
Not everybody can be trusted
It's not wrong if choosy friends
Don't be nice to everybody


Monday, October 11, 2010

♥ Everything that occur in my life ♥

LOT'S ! It's hard to write chronologically.

PROBLEMS
Never stop. It will come and come and come to haunt us. Felt like i never live happilly. But i know,sometimes i cannot avoid it. Or the best is don't avoid but try to solve it. Seriously i got lots of problems. And sometimes i cannot handle it.
Try to avoid it, bt i realise by avoiding something solutions never comes. Problems never ends. So, from now on, I'll try harder to solve it, tawakal and leave it to Allah S.W.T. Insyallah everything gonna be ok.


FAMILY
Seriously i likee this part! wee~
Now i've got new family!! And i am so happy to have them.
Since i know them, i start to feel what's complete family mean. It means a lot to me.
This is the Precious gift i ever gifted. My family that is Umiey, Nenek, adik n sharmine. Love u all! N now my new loveable family bapa haji, mama haji, kak ombeng, hasmi, hasma and jenal and others. Thank u so much. In addition, I never get a love of a father. This year, Alhamdulillah.. Allah S.W.T fullfilled my pray! I hope this will be everlasting.


HEALTH
Woo~ This is the part that i dislike. U know way? Because I just come back from clinic this evening. I spent half day at Luyang clinic. Last saturday I got fever, bodyache and headache. I can't even standup. I spent more than 24hours at the bed. Sadly, all my family members went to Ranau to attend my moms friend wedding. I was alone at home. Lonely sick little girl. Until now i still haven't fully recover. And because of that i didn't go to clss today.


LOVE
I don't even sure how to say. There's a guy, he manage to steal my heart. Luckily him. I don't know why i can accept him in my life. It's hard for me to accept guys[means special bf] before. Because of some reason laa. I dont want to talk much in this issue. It wasn't because i don't want to, bt i'm speechless. All i know is i'll try my hardest to keep this relation warm and going on.


Well.. this is few picture.. Enjoy it. ;)





♥THis is me♥

♥THis is me♥
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